The Journey to Omaha: The Movie Part 2

The nightmare isn't over...

My poor car! I couldn't believe it. My car is dead. It was my very first car and and I had so many memories with it. Now, it's gone. The mechanic said we have two options: we can sell it for scraps or he can put an engine in it.  We clearly didn't have the money for an engine, so we had no choice but to sell it. He gave us $300 for it. It sucked, but it was our only option. The tow guy asked us if we wanted to get a rental and if so he would take us to the airport. We said sure and got in his truck. I called the rental store and found out that they closed at 6:00pm and won't reopen until the next day. It was 6:15pm in the evening!! Oh my God! Now, we have to stay the night in this creepy town?!  I told Larnell and he shook his head. He couldn't even believe what I was telling him. We told the tow guy and he was even surprised that they were closed. He told us that he can take us to a local motel so that we can get some rest. As we were riding, I also noticed that a lot of the restaurants were closed as well. Something is not right, I thought. We arrived at the motel and noticed a big case of water on the clerk's desk. She shared with us that the water is contaminated in the area so we cannot use the shower, but we would have to wash up with the bottled water!! What?! We have to wash our butt with bottled water?! Wow, after I heard that I just knew that God was trying to tell me that Larnell is not the one and that I need to go home. So now, we can't have a decent meal because of this problem and I can't take a hot bath! I was so upset. Larnell continued to remain calm, but I could tell he was a little frustrated. He went to the gas station across the street to see if he can find us something to eat. He came back with hot pockets and chips and said that's the only thing that was appealing in there. Wow, I was hoping I could pinch myself and wake up from this dream!

The next morning, we woke up around 6:00a.m. I called a local taxi company and asked if they could pick us up around 7:00a.m. to take us to the airport. They said they would send someone out right away. We waited in the lobby for the taxi. 7:05a.m. no one showed up. I told myself if no one shows at 7:15, I'm calling them. 7:15 arrived, and no one showed up. I looked at Larnell and he said give them a little more time. 7:30 arrived and still, no one showed up. I told Larnell 7:30 is entirely too late and we have to pick up our rental at 8:00. Frustrated and mad, I called the taxi company and they told me that they were trying to find someone to come get us. What is up with this town?!  I was so mad I told them to cancel it and I'll call someone else. Even Larnell was mad and that was the first time in this whole experience that I saw him mad. As I was searching on my phone to find another taxi, the manager came out and said that she couldn't help but to overhear us frustrated about the taxi. She said that if we still need a way to the airport she would take us. We asked her how much gas money she needs. She said don't worry about it. Wow! We were so thankful for her kindness! Finally, things are slowly looking up for us. We got to the airport to pick up our rental car. We shared with the associate our story and she was in shock and apologized. She said she found it strange that they would close so early on a Saturday as well. We told her we just want to get the car and leave this place! As she looked for our reservation, she said that she noticed we reserved a full size car. She asked us did we want to upgrade to an SUV since we have so much stuff to pack in the car. We told her no because we didn't want to pay an extra $150. She looked at us and said, "The upgrade is free. It's on the house." Once again, Larnell and I were amazed. We thanked her over and over again!! She personally allowed us to rent out the new Ford Edge. She said it was excellent on gas and it offers plenty of room for my stuff. We got the keys and we were on our way back to the shop!

When we arrived there, the tow guy gave us the $300 and we gave him the title. I took one last look at my car. I shed tears. I still couldn't believe my car died, but I knew I had to leave it behind. When I turned around, I saw Larnell immediately begin to remove my stuff out of the car and putting it in the rental. I asked him if he needed any help. He said no and asked me to wait in the car. I could tell by the look on his face that he was ready to leave! Once he finished, he got in the car and turned on the GPS. It said we had 18 hours of travel before we arrive in Omaha. I reminded him of the voucher we got from a family member for a free night at the Marriott, but he was determined to get there no matter what. And so, we did. Eyes red and tired as we can be, we arrived in Omaha around 1:00am in the morning. As I laid down beside my husband, I took a deep breath and thanked the Lord for getting us here safely. I was happy that I was finally with him and beginning my new life in Omaha, Nebraska.

The Journey to Omaha: The Movie Part 1

Are you wondering why I would name this post "The Journey to Omaha: The Movie?" Well, read on because once you see what I been through just to move to Omaha, you would think it was a horror movie!

On Thursday, January 9, 2014 Larnell flew to Virginia to help me pack my things. Our plan was to drive my car, a 2005 Chevy Cobalt from Virginia to Nebraska. Yes, it was an older car and it had miles on it, but I had two mechanics check everything for me to make sure I wouldn't have a problem driving it long distance. They both gave me the ok. The next day, we had a going away party which was held at my mother's house. So many of my family and friends attended. They gave us gifts and wished us luck in our marriage. We had a wonderful time. My stepfather pulled me aside and expressed his concern for my car. He said that he knows it won't make it to Omaha because it's an older model. I reassured him that it should be fine since I have fixed everything on the car to prepare me for this trip.  He shook his head, but said ok.

The next morning at 6:00a.m., we woke up to my parents cooking us breakfast for our long drive ahead. They prayed with us and they hugged the both of us. My sister was the only one that cried when she hugged me. I was very surprised my mom didn't cry, but I knew the tears would come after I leave. Larnell and I got in the car and we began our road trip, with me driving first. As we were making our way to West Virginia, we were laughing at each other and listening to music. Then, we reached a hilly highway. When we reached the hill, my car began to stall. I was nervous. Larnell stepped out of the car trying to figure out what was wrong. He didn't see anything so we called my stepfather. He told us that we need to make sure we have the car in another gear when going up a hill. Feeling crazy, we turned on the car, shifted to the next gear, and we were rolling again. We then approached the beautiful mountains. In some areas, it was really foggy, so we had to be careful driving around the tight corners. Then, the car started acting up again. Larnell decided that we should find a car shop to see what's wrong with the car. We arrived in this small country town at this rink-a-dink mechanic shop. We walked in and saw a man that looked like a hillbilly! But he was nice and told us he can look at our car for us. While we were waiting, I couldn't help but to think that maybe my stepdad was right. I should have sold the car and purchase a rental. I was so determined to get my car to Omaha because I didn't want to be without one. After an hour the mechanic told us that he didn't see anything wrong with it and we should be good to go. I put my worries aside, took a deep breath and got in the car once again to continue on the road.

We drove for about a hour, and we made it to Charleston. This time, the car was making a loud, scratching noise. It almost sounded like it was scratching against medal. This time, I was terrified. Yes, I was with my husband, but I was still scared because I was in an unknown place and couldn't figure out what was wrong with my car. Larnell told me to keep calm and let's find a chevy dealership and pray that they can spot the problem. We found one and when we arrived, a lady came out and told us there weren't any mechanics on duty and we would have to come back on Monday. Monday?! What?? It's 3pm on a Saturday! Larnell and I looked at each other in disbelief. We could not understand why a dealership didn't have any mechanics on a Saturday! We have used our GPS and the internet on our phones to try to find a mechanic to help us. We went to two car shops and both were closed, not understanding why. I was frustrated! I told Larnell to park the car at the Family Dollar we had passed and I called AAA. After they figured out where we was they told us that a tow truck was on the way. Finally! I thought. We waited a little over an hour, and no one showed up. I was livid. I called them to find out what's going on. They said that they are trying to find someone to come out. Find someone?! Wow! I couldn't believe that we were going through this. I just wanted my car fixed so we can leave, not to mention there was a crazy looking man that kept walking in front of my car making me nervous! After thirty minutes, a tow truck finally showed up. He couldn't tell us what was wrong with the car, so he towed our car and we got in the truck with him. He told us he will take it to a shop to see what could be the problem. Believe it or not, he took us to one of the shops that we went to. We told him that it is closed, but he said they weren't. He got out the car, knocked on the door, and someone was in there. Wow! The mechanic came out and looked under the hood of the car. He said, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your engine is shot." I went to Larnell and cried on his shoulders. I couldn't believe my car was dead! I asked the mechanic what were my options. He said that he can put an engine in it but he suggests that I should get another car. I cried even more. Larnell tried to console me, but I was so upset. Maybe this was the Lord showing me that I made a mistake. Maybe I should have waited. I wanted to go back home. Larnell asked them what was up with so many places closed on a Saturday. Come to find out, West Virginia was a part of the bible beltway where they shut down early Saturday until Monday. My eyebrows were raised. I was in complete shock. It felt like I was in a horror movie. Nothing was going as planned. We were stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Stay tuned next week for part 2...

To Plan a Wedding, or Not?

Finally! I couldn't believe that I was getting married to this handsome man of God! I called all my family and friends to let them know the awesome news. I was excited and praised the Lord for putting this union together. I was all set to plan my wedding for September, 2014.

On that Sunday, I left Omaha to go back to Virginia. I had a layover in Chicago. While I was in Uno's talking to my girlfriend about the proposal, someone said "Excuse me." I looked up and it was an older caucasian man. He said, "I overheard you say that you got engaged? Congratulations." I said, thank you, and trying to figure out who this man was. He said, "I also heard you were a Christian and I would like to be the first person to bless your marriage." He put something in my hand, closed it and said, "God Bless you." I looked down, opened my hand, and it was a $100 bill! Before I could say thank you, he was gone. I cried like a baby! I couldn't believe a complete stranger just gave me this amount of money. I knew that the Lord was truly with us. I called Larnell and he was amazed, but not surprised. He said that as long as we are in the Lord's will and obedient, he promises to bless us, whether it be from someone we know or a stranger. Amen to that!

Later on in September, I reached out to Pastor Lewis and asked him if he would do our pre-marital counseling. He said he would love to and we planned to travel to Texas in November. Our plan was to receive our counseling from him, and with his approval, we would marry while we were there, have our wedding in September of 2014 in Virginia, and move to Texas together in October of that same year.  We didn't know how it was all going to play out, but we were determined to get it done. I told Larnell I really wasn't interested in moving to Omaha, and he didn't want me to do it either. We just hoped that once we share this with Pastor, everything will go smoothly....so we thought...

In November, we both flew out to Texas for our pre-marital counseling. We shared our plans with Pastor, and he looked at us like we were crazy. He laughed and said, "Before I say anything, let's pray." After we prayed, he told us that if that was our plan, then he won't marry us. Larnell and I looked at each other in shock. But then he shared with us something that we didn't even think of or consider. He said that if we marry and live separate from each other, I will be uncovered and that will give way to the enemy. He asked us could we really live apart from each each other like that? We had to be honest....we couldn't! He said either we just stay engaged until the wedding, or marry now and I will have to move to Omaha. All kinds of things came to my mind: Am I really ready to leave everything I know in VA? My family, friends, my career?! I don't know anyone in Omaha! I knew I wanted to be with him, but I wasn't totally sure if I was ready to make this huge step. After our counseling, we went out to eat and we discussed what Pastor had told us. Larnell said that he knows this will be a big decision for me, but he didn't want to live another day without me. That provided some reassurance to me, and showed me that he really loved me. At that point, my trust level increased with him. I knew that I would be in good hands, and he promised to take care of me. So, we called Pastor and told him our decision. He said that we are doing the right thing. On November 22, 2013, we made it official. I was now a Marion and Pastor had the honor of marrying us. I was nervous, but excited about my new chapter in my life. Now, it is time to do things the right way. I know it was going to be hard leaving everything I know behind, but I had to cleave to my husband and become the wife that the Lord wants me to be. Our marriage will be blessed because we are doing things God's way. Our plans have changed: I was now moving to Omaha in January 2014.

He Proposed to Me

In May of 2013, Larnell travelled to VA so that we may meet each other in person.  I must say, I was quite nervous meeting him, but once I saw him he had such a calmness about him. A very laid back brother. All the worry and the nerves disappeared and I was able to relax. He met my family, but he really hit it off with my father, which was a shock to me.

When Larnell and I arrived at my father's house, I was hoping that my dad wouldn't say anything crazy to Larnell to scare him off, but knowing him he would! My dad asked him, "What are your intentions with my daughter? She's been hurt before, so if you plan to do that, then leave. She'll get over it." I looked at my dad like he was crazy. Larnell's response was right on point. He told my dad that he really loves me and have no intention on hurting me. He also told him that this courtship will let him know if it is worthy of a marriage. Then, my father said ok. He looked at me and said that he wanted to talk to Larnell alone and told me to go to the mall. Wow! When I left, I couldn't help but wonder what my dad said to him. After an hour, I returned and found them laughing and listening to old school music! I was in shock, but happy that he was getting along with my dad.

August 22, 2013, I arrived in Omaha, Nebraska to meet his family. We all went to Cheddar's for dinner. I had the opportunity to meet his mom, sister, her two children and his daughter. She was as cute as she could be. I started to think that since his family was here, maybe he would propose. Since we've been courting, there was discussion about marriage and children. He even asked me for my ring size. So, I just knew that he would propose. But as the evening went on, nothing happened. I stopped getting my hopes up and tried to let it go. Later on that night, he took me to downtown Omaha.  I noticed that he kept smiling at me as we were walking. Wondering why he was doing that, we walked up to this beautiful horse and carriage. I was so caught up in looking at the horse that I didn't even notice him talking to the owner.  He came back to me and told me we were going to ride on it.  My eyes lit up! It was very romantic. We rode around town and came up to this place were you can see a fountain shooting up water and changing colors. We got out and Larnell took my hand and we walked towards it. In the sky, I could see a full moon and a few stars. It was truly magical. He then began to recite the most beautiful poem I ever heard: 

I Call Her Queen

A lovely lady that command respect when she step up on the scene..her beauty flows from inside out like a steady stream..dressed in elegance & class with a polished appearance..the smell of her aroma standout like sweet incense, one look in her eyes and I'm completely convinced "her grass", "bright" green on her side of the fence(a caretaker) "Lord", let me help water her lawn,(lol) I know I ain't got good sense, but I been captivated by this vision ever since..a desire planted in my heart.."I Call Her Queen"..Love rock the finest linen, most importantly she God fearing and divinely driven..she so sincere, always givin'..finding her is like rare treasure that's hidden, my queen where are you? maybe you already near? or perhaps you're in a far off distance my dear..my longing is after you night & day, for you my love I continually pray..your king is preparing for you, that appointed time and day..I can imagine, I bet you like to have fun and play..and out of your mouth have the most pleasant words to say..gentleness embedded in your d.n.a...hand-carved in perfection..heavenly is the way of your direction..you radiate light in His reflection..I'm blown away, gone with the wind just from the thought of you being my helpmate, lover and friend..you were overlooked and passed up by many men, you tested em' through patience therefore, they didn't stick around to the end.."I Call Her Queen"..wisdom & honor engraved on her crown..a woman of excellence, firmly stable and sound, uniquely created with prestige, down to earth, she humbly bless the ground..the makeup of her essence is submissive, whispers of softness define her strength, pure goodness she models purity, my love establishes a brotha with security..a lady of virtue..may she reign, her love is royal..fit for a king...my future wife...I call her queen!

He turned to me and said that he loved me and didn't want to live another day without me. He asked me to marry him and of course I said Yes! What a well-thought out proposal! It was truly a night I'll never forget.

A Special Valentines Day

In the beginning of 2013, I've been asking the Lord about a spouse. I've forgiven my ex-husband, received the much needed healing from Him and moved on. Little did I know what the Lord had in store for me...


On February 8, 2013, I invited a couple over to my home for dinner. I began to share with them that I have been praying and asking the Lord about a spouse and wondering when will He bless me, or even if its time yet. *Sandy shared with me that the Lord heard my prayers and he will send my spouse when the timing is right. We prayed together, and she stopped and looked at me. She said, "My future spouse doesn't live in VA, but in another state." What?! I looked at her very strange because there was NO way I would date anyone that doesn't live in the same state I'm in. I could never do a long distance relationship. I laughed a little and told her I will have to hear God on that before I made that kind of move. She said, "Ok, definitely pray about it, but that's what I hear the Lord saying."  That same night, I couldn't sleep. I kept thinking about what she said and wondering how true that was. I prayed to the Lord and told Him to confirm that Word to me so that I know it's from you. If not, then help me to hold on and wait on you. I fell asleep and had a dream about a guy I met on Facebook named Larnell Marion, whom I've connected with in 2012. All I knew was that he was follower of ExMinistries. We never really spoke to each other, but liked each other's statuses and commented every once in a while on Facebook. In this dream, we were riding in the car listening to music, laughing and joking around. I could see that we were traveling somewhere, but I couldn't see the road signs. Then, there was another scene where we went to a beautiful restaurant. As we sat across from each other, he looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me.  I immediately woke up from the dream. I was in shock that I even had a dream about this guy and we never really talked to each other! I asked the Lord about it, but then laughed it off because I just knew that it was too good to be true...

On February 13th, I received a message on Facebook from the same guy I had a dream about the other day. He asked me about a DVD that ExMinistries released. I answered him and I looked at his profile. Ironically, it stated that he was from Omaha, Nebraska. Omaha?! What's out there? I thought. Still, I was shaking my head because I just couldn't see myself dating someone that far away. Plus, I told myself that he's probably not interested in me, so I let it go. The next day was Valentine's Day. I didn't allow this day to get me all upset and thinking that I didn't have anyone to celebrate it with. In fact, I took myself out for dinner and enjoyed my own company. Later that day, I received another message from Larnell. He asked me if I enjoyed my Valentines Day. Next thing I know, he was asking questions about me, as if he was interested. I was surprised! I couldn't believe what I was seeing! We were messaging each other for quite a while, and although I liked what I heard from him, I still prayed and asked God if he wasn't the one You prepared me for, remove him. Show me the red flags so that I won't make the same mistakes again.

The next day, Larnell messaged me and asked me for my phone number.  We talked and I told him that I was praying about him and seeing what the Lord says. He laughed and said, "That's funny, because I been praying and telling the Lord to remove you if you are not the one!" Wow! I have NEVER heard a man say that to me, let alone prayed about me. I was impressed. This man met all of my strict criteria. He was everything I prayed for. I knew that only time would tell if this friendship would develop into a relationship. The following week, he asked me if we could begin courting each other. So far, I haven't seen any red flags telling me to run and it seemed as if the Lord had something to do with this union. I felt at peace about accepting this courtship, even though he was in another state. He said he wanted to meet me face to face, so we agreed that he would fly out in May. After I got off the phone with him, I called my closest girlfriends with the news. I was excited and my heart was racing. It felt so good knowing that I was in a courtship with a God-fearing man that truly adored me and loved me for who I am. I praised the Lord for what he has done!  I was looking forward to see how this union would blossom...

*Name has been withheld.

The Lord Warned Me And I Obeyed

I received an unexpected message from someone....didn't know what it was truly all about, but I am glad that the Lord warned me beforehand...

The year 2013 has finally come!  I have worked hard to stay focused on the Lord and I also had the opportunity to learn myself.  I began to implement things that I haven't done in a while because I was busy trying to please other people.  Once a month, I took myself out to a nice restaurant and ate a delicious meal all by myself....and IT FELT WONDERFUL!  At first, I wasn't able to do this, but I'm so glad I gained enough confidence to do it and not feel bad about it.  I took myself to the movies on numerous occasions and traveled to places that I never been.  I was growing as an individual and enjoying being single.

One night, I prayed to the Lord that I was beginning to love being single and I would continue to wait on him to send the one for me.  I was satisfied with my progress and determined to press on!  The next day, January 17, 2013, I received a Facebook message.  It was from *Jonathan.  I was a bit shocked, but my guard was up.  He asked how I was doing and recommended me a book to read that he believed would "revolutionize my understanding and save me from the strong delusion in the last days that he thinks we are in." I almost laughed when I saw this because I found it very interesting for him to send me this type of message, considering that we haven't talked in a while.  I told him that the ministry I was under was helping me to understand the signs of the times and I will pray about it and see if that's what the Lord wants me to read now. Take care. For some reason, I felt like maybe he feels it is his responsibility to protect me, which that is no longer his job. So I asked him about it.  He said that he felt convicted introducing me to things that really wasn't God.  I told him thanks, but the Lord is now protecting and covering me from such things. Once again, take care.  He said that he's not going to become an "overprotective brother", he's just trying to help.  I see what he was trying to do, but it didn't sit too well with me.  Why would he just come into my life, out of the blue, about something like this?  I didn't understand it and I wasn't going to rack my brain about it, so I left it alone.

A couple of weeks later, I had a dream that I was inside of a church.  Everyone was standing up as the speaker begin to pray. I looked around and there were all kinds of people from different cultures.  The sight was beautiful.  As the speaker asked us to please be seated, someone put their arm around my chair.  I looked to the right, and it was *Jonathan.  At first it didn't look like him.  He was dressed in a three-piece suit, very clean and looked smaller.  He had a smile on his face and said, "Hey Lavena."  I was startled.  I couldn't believe what I was seeing.  I asked him, "What are you doing here?" He said, "I came to see you...I miss you." WHAT??!! My mouth dropped wide open.  He came towards me and hugged me.  His embrace didn't feel right.  I looked over his shoulder and I could see some of the women in the church.  Their looks said that they knew something wasn't right.  I began to cry, and he started crying.  I coughed and he coughed.  It seemed as if whatever I did, he mocked me! I pulled away from him, and he still had a smile on his face.  I stepped back from him and I began to listen to the praise team.  As I lifted my hands in worship. *Jonathan raised his hands and grabbed my right hand and tried to interlock it with his.  I looked at him, and once again, he had a smile on his face...then I woke up in the middle of the night.  I immediately prayed and cried out to God asking him what was it about.  The next morning, I remember hearing the Lord say, "It is a distraction." That's all I heard. I kept that response with me.  The next day, I was at work, and I wasn't feeling well.  I asked my boss if I could go home.  When I arrived at my home, I received a message from Facebook stating "Jonathan has requested you to add him as a friend."  I couldn't believe it! Why did he want to become "friends" with me? I knew that I wasn't going to add him, but I was curious as to why he did that.  I messaged him, asking that very question.  He said, "God has brought me great conviction through His Word. He has encouraged me to do so. You don't have to accept it." Well, that makes no sense, I thought. I told him that I'll think about it but not sure if I want to.  Couple minutes later, he said, "I cancelled the request because I didn't think that my friend request would put you on edge considering God encourages it." I laughed to myself because I could see what he was up to. He was trying to make me feel guilty for not accepting his friend request!  This is a common tactic for him, but I wasn't going to fall for it this time. Then, he says, "Divorce and Remarriage is Adultery. He encourages reconciliation; otherwise, live a holy single life free on any type of committed relationships." Is he really trying to take me through a guilt trip? This dude is crazy! He also said that he still cared about me, which I found to be interesting.  I really didn't know how to respond at the time, so I told him I'll get back to him, but he kept on going. Right then, I remembered what the Lord said. "It is a distraction." I regained my focus and began to look at the scriptures concerning divorce and remarriage.  Matthew 19:7-12 states,

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?  He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry. 11 But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

This scripture helped me realize that although the scriptures says "It is not good to marry," that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm sinning if I decide to do so. I have seen countless people re-marry due to unfaithfulness in their previous marriages and the Lord has blessed it, so I knew the Lord would do the same for me. I shared this with him, and his response was "1 Corinthians 7."  He kept throwing scriptures at me, but he failed to realize that he was already unfaithful in the marriage, due to the lack of us consummating.  And because we never consummated, we was never really married, except by paper.  We were just "living" together.  His response was, "I'm glad your conscience is free."  After that, I knew and understood well what this man was up to, so I told him goodnight, but instead, he kept going. He goes on to say that he prays that I meet the one God has for me and he is glad that I am able to move on without conviction. He just wanted me to know that he still cares for me. He just wants to please God.  At this point, I tried to tell him that I forgiven him a while ago and I have nothing against him.  The past is the past and I learned from it. I told him goodbye and I went to sleep.  The next morning, I found out that he blocked me!

I began to thank God for helping me to see the distraction and not fall for it.  I'm so glad I obeyed him, because the "old" me would have probably allowed him back into my life.  One thing I learned is that I can forgive someone, but that doesn't mean that I have to be friends with them.  There was no way I could even allow him in my life again.  It was best that we both move on with our lives.

The Ultimate Test

Jesus said in Matthew 6:14 (NIV) that "If you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."  How many times have we, as Christians, say that we forgive someone for doing us wrong?  What if we were put to the ultimate test to prove that we have forgiven them?  I was put in a difficult situation where I had to choose to obey God or be disobedient...I obeyed God:

In July of 2012, I was invited to travel with a group of friends to a marriage conference held in Atlanta, Georgia.  I thought that it would be good for me to go so that I can learn more from those who have been married longer than I have, and to also have a good time.  I was told that I needed to register on Facebook to be included in the total count.  I went to the conference event page and it had a list of all who were attending.  As I looked through it, my mouth dropped wide open when I saw who was coming.  MY EX-HUSBAND! I clicked on his name and it said that he now lives in Atlanta, Georgia.  I couldn't believe it!  I immediately changed my mind and decided not to go because I didn't want to see his face.  I told my friends and they strongly suggested that I still should attend.  They believed that it could possibly bring some closure.  I battled with that for a while, but when it came close to the conference date, I decided to go ahead and attend.

As I was riding in the back seat of my friends car, I couldn't help how nervous I was seeing my ex again.  I knew that I had forgiven him, especially when he called me out the blue and apologized for everything, but seeing him again?  I didn't think I was ready for that.  I guess my forgiveness for him was about to be tested. As we arrived in Atlanta, my heart started to beat even faster.  My hands were clammy and all kinds of thoughts were in my head.  What if he brings another girl? What if he  ignores me? I had to hurry up and cast down those thoughts because we had arrived at the church the conference was being held at.  I stepped inside the church and I looked around to see if I see him. So far, no sign of Johnathan*.  I was relieved, but still was on edge thinking that maybe he will show up.  Later, as I was trying to listen to the speakers, every time I heard a door open and close, I would turn around to see if was coming. No sign of him.  I was so distracted by this, that I could hardly pay attention to what was being said.  I knew that I needed to let him go.  Even if he does show up, I needed to be totally free to the point that I could tolerate being in the same room with him. I WANTED FREEDOM. As day one of the conference was getting ready to end, they called up ministers to the alter to pray for anyone that needed deliverance or healing.  I made my way to the front and I had this couple, whom I just met a month ago, pray for me.  I told them what the situation was and as they prayed for me, the lady said to me, "God is preparing you for your husband, but you must allow the Lord to heal you.  He has you alone right now so that he may deal with you."  Then, her husband said, "God is covering you with a veil, only to be released when the timing is right."  Last thing I know, I was on my knees asking the Lord for healing and deliverance.  I went to sleep that night in peace knowing that the Lord has me in the palm of his hand.

The next day, as I was at the church for day two of the conference, I was thankful that I finally had the opportunity to really listen and to engage.I was at peace, whether he showed up or not.  Later on in the day, I heard the Lord say to me, "Call him and ask for forgiveness." What?! I thought that maybe I wasn't hearing from the Lord, so I ignored it.  Then, 15 minutes later, I heard it again.  I finally gave in and said, "Ok, if that's you speaking to me Lord, give me the strength and courage to do so."  I stepped outside of the church and proceeded to call Johnathan*.  Surprisingly, he answered.  I took a deep breath and begin to apologize to him for all that I have done in the marriage. I began to share how the Lord dealt with my issues and showed me who I was. I then asked for his forgiveness.  There was dead silence on the phone.  He said, "Wow, Lavena, you are a strong woman to do this. And yes, I forgive you." Then, I heard the Lord say, "Pray for him." So, I did. Next thing I know, I heard Johnathan's voice change, as if he was crying.  He thanked me and told me that I would make a great wife to a good man.  It truly blessed my heart to hear him say that to me. I was glad that I obeyed God instead of obeying my feelings. It truly brought closure between us and I felt like I can move on and walk out my deliverance.  I knew that I was maturing in the Lord quicker than I thought...